Having fun at a funeral

• Tell the widow that the deceased's last wish was that she make love with you. 
• Tell the undertaker that he can't close the coffin until you find your contact lens. 
• Punch the body and tell people that he hit you first. 
• Tell the widow that you're the deceased's gay lover.
• Ask someone to take a snapshot of you shaking hands with the deceased.
• At the cemetery, play taps on a kazoo. 
• Walk around telling people that you've seen the will and they're not in it. 
• Ask the widow to give you a kiss. 
• Drive behind the widow's limo and keep honking your horn. 
• Tell the undertaker that your dog just died and ask if he can sneak him into the coffin. 
• Put a hard-boiled egg in the mouth of the deceased.
• Slip a whoopee cushion under the widow. 
• Leave some phoney dog poop on top of the deceased. 
• Tell the widow that you have to leave early and ask if the will can be read before the funeral is over. 
• Urge the widow to give the deceased's wooden leg to someone poor who can't afford firewood.
• Walk around telling people that the deceased didn't like them.
• Use the deceased's tongue to lick a stamp. 
• Ask the widow for money which the deceased owes you. 
• Take up a collection to pay off the deceased' gambling debts.
• Ask the widow if you can have the body to practice tattooing on. 
• Put crazy Glue on the deceased's lips just before the widow's last kiss.
• Show up at the funeral services in a clown suit.
• If the widow cries, blow a trumpet every time she wipes her nose. 
• When no-one's looking, slip plastic vampire-teeth into the deceased's mouth. 
• Toss a handful of cooked rice on the deceased and scream "MAGGOTS! MAGGOTS!" and pretend to faint. 
• At the cemetery take bets on how long it takes a body to decompose.
• Goose the widow as she bends over to throw dirt on the coffin. 
• Circulate a petition to have the body stuffed instead of buried.
• Tell everyone you're from the IRS and you're confiscating the coffin for back-taxes. 
• Promise the minister a hundred dollars if he doesn't keep a straight face while praising the deceased.