Author: unknown

Pickup Lines

"Excuse me, are you a virgin?"
"Then can I have the box that it came in?"

"Hey baby, can I tickle your bellybutton?.... from the inside..."

"Hey pretty thing, are you looking for a job?"
"Well I'd like to have you on my staff anyway!"

"Just call me milk cuz I do the body good."

"Hey baby, wanna fuck?"
"Don't be picky, I wasn't."

"Baby, you are looking phat!"
"P-H-A-T: Pretty hot and tempting!"

"If I jumped on your back, would you beat me off?"

"I'm gonna have sex with you tonight so you might as well be there."

"Is there a rainbow outside your house?"
No, why?
"Because you're the treasure I've been lookin for."

"Is your name Gillette?"
No, why?
"Cause you're the best a man can get."

"Hey baby, 69 means dinner for 2."

"Do you work for UPS?"
No, why?
"Because I saw you checking out my package."

"If you were a tear in my eye, I would never cry for fear of losing you."

"Can we play house?... You be the door and I'll slam you!"

"Come here and sit on my lap and we'll get something straight between us."

"If I wrote the alphabet, I would put U and I together."

"What could be so wrong in heaven that an angel like you is here on earth?"

"Your body's name must be visa because it's everywhere I want to be."

"I heard milk does the body good, but DAMN girl, how much milk you been drinking?"

"Why don't you come over and sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up."

"I'd really like to see how you look when I'm naked"

"How are you?"
Fine, how are you?
"Would you like to find out?"

"I seemed to have lost my virginity, can I have yours?"

"I forgot my phone number, can I have yours?"

"Quick, I need a quarter! My mother asked me to call her when I fell in love!"

"The word of the day is Legs ..."
"So lets go back to my place and spread the word!"

"I wish you were a love buffet."
"So I could lay you on the table and take my pick."

"Is your name Candy?"
No, why?
"Because you are looking so sweet."

"If beauty stank, you'd be the shit!"

"Hey do you like fruit?"
Yes, why?
"Well suck this, it's a peach."

"Do you want to play elevator?"
What's that?
"It's up right now, wanna go down on it?"

"Is your daddy a thief?"
"Because he stole the stars out of the sky and put them in your eyes."

"Damn, there must be something wrong with my eyes!"
"Because they've been stuck on you all day!"

"Do you know why girls masturbate with this finger?"
(Hold out index finger)
"Because it's mine!"

"Would you like to play Pearl Harbor?"
"I'll be America, you be Japan and blow the hell out of me!"

"Would you sleep with me?"
"Have another beer."

Do you have the time?
"Why? Do you have the energy?"

You seem shy.
"The only thing I'm shy of is two inches from a foot."

"Fuck me if I'm wrong, but I know you want to kiss me."

"I love every bone in your body, especially mine."

"Is your daddy a baker?"
"Because you got some nice buns."

"Just call me Toyota."
"Because I love what you do for me!"

"Are those space pants you're wearing?"
"Cause your ass is outta this world."

"Hey baby you know what looks good on you?"

"Wanna go get a pizza and fuck?"
"I'm sorry, you don't like pizza?"

"I lost my teddy bear, would you sleep with me?"

"Sit on my face and i will eat my way to your heart."

"Would you like to dance?"
"I guess you didn't hear me right, I said your ass looks mighty fat in those pants!"

"If I told you you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?"

"If you and I were squirrels, would you let me bust a nut in your hole?"

"Excuse me, do you believe in pre-marital sex?"
"Well I'm married so lets fuck!"

"Baby, if you were a buger, I'de pick you first."

"Excuse me, could you give me directions?"
To where?
"Your heart."

"Fuck me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Gretchen?"

I've got the ship, you've got the harbor, what do you say we tie up for the night?"

"That dress looks good on you, but it would look even better in a crumpled up little ball on my bedroom floor tomorrow morning."

"That dress is very becoming on you, if i was on you I'd be coming too."

"I have the F the C and the K and now all I need is you."

"If God made anything better looking than you he must have kept it for himself."

"Let's do some math! Add you and me together, subtract our clothes, divide your legs and multiply!"

"Is yer dad a terrorist?"
"Cuz you da' bomb!"

"Is yer name Cambells?"
"Cuz you are mmm mmm good!"

"Do you sleep on your stomach?"
"Can I?"

"Did it hurt?"
"Fallin from heaven."

"Can I get a picture of you?"
"So I can show santa what I want for Christmas."

"Are your feet hurting?"
"You been runnin through my mind all day."

"Was that love at first sight or should I walk by again?"

"Damm I need a broom!"
"Because I'm about to sweep you off your feet."

"Do you wash yer pants with windex?"
"Because I can see myself in 'em."


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