Author:
unknown
'TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE
RELEASE DATE
'TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE RELEASE DATE
AND ALL THROUGH THE HOUSE
NOT A PROGRAM WAS WORKING, NOT EVEN
A BROWSE
THE PROGRAMMERS HUNG BY THEIR CUBES
IN DESPAIR
WITH HOPES THAT A MIRACLE SOON WOULD
BE THERE.
THE USERS WERE NESTLED ALL SNUG IN
THEIR BEDS,
WHILE VISIONS OF PRODUCTIVITY DANCED
IN THEIR HEADS
WHEN OUT IN THE LOBBY THERE AROSE
SUCH A CLATTER,
I SPRANG FROM MY DESK TO SEE WHAT
WAS THE MATTER.
AND WHAT TO MY WONDERING EYES DID
APPEAR
BUT 'SUPER PROGRAMMER' WITH A SIX-PACK
OF BEER.
HIS RESUME GLOWED WITH EXPERIENCE
SO RARE,
HE TURNED OUT CODE WITH TEMERITY AND
FLAIR.
MORE RAPID THAN EAGLES, HIS PROGRAMS
THEY CAME,
AND HE WHISTLED AND SHOUTED AND CALLED
THEM BY NAME.
ON MENU, ON REPORT, ON GUI AND DELETE,
ON MONITOR, ON BATCH-JOB, ON FUNCTION
COMPLETE.
HIS EYES WERE GLAZED OVER, FINGERS
NIMBLE AND LEAN
FROM WEEKENDS AND NIGHTS SPENT IN
FRONT OF A SCREEN.
A WINK OF HIS EYE AND A TWIST OF HIS
HEAD,
SOON MADE IT CLEAR WE HAD NOTHING
TO DREAD.
HE SPOKE NOT A WORD, BUT WENT STRAIGHT
TO HIS WORK,
TURNING SPECS INTO CODE; THIS MAN
WAS NO JERK.
AND AFTER LAYING HIS FINGER UPON THE
ENTER KEY,
THE SOFTWARE CAME UP AND WORKED PERFECTLY.
THE MENUS, THEY MENUED, THE DELETES
THEY DELETED,
THE REPORTS THEY REPORTED, AND THE
BATCH-JOBS COMPLETED.
HE TESTED EACH WHISTLE, AND TESTED
EACH BELL,
WITH NARY A CORE DUMP, AND ALL HAD
GONE WELL.
THE SOFTWARE WAS FINISHED, THE TESTS
WERE CONCLUDED,
EVEN THE LAST MINUTE REQUESTS WERE
INCLUDED.
THEN THE CUSTOMER EXCLAIMED WITH A
SNARL AND A TAUNT,
"ITS JUST WHAT WE ASKED FOR, BUT NOT
WHAT WE WANT!"
