The world in general likes to believe that the insular computer boffin does not know the meaning of love-making. Of course this is not true. Most IT specialists have healthy and rewarding sex lives - often with other humans - which keep them bright and smiling as they tap away at the keyboard and chuckle at the fading Dilbert cartoon stuck to their monitor. And the true professional always behaves faithfully to his chosen development environment - even in the bedroom....
You make love to your girlfriend.
You waggle your penis ineffectually at your girlfriend.
You get a tattoo on your penis, then waggle it ineffectually at your girlfriend.
Every time you make love to your partner, your penis points in a different direction. You don't notice until eventually it points
straight up your own arse.
Both your girlfriend and her cousin use the same method of love-making with you. Unfortunately, they both inherited it from their father, and you painfully waddle home sporting an anus like the Japanese flag.
UNTIL W_TESTICLES_EMPTY = TRUE.
You make love to your girlfriend, but it takes hours, and everyone in the street has to wait until you've finished before they can make love to their partners. When you've finished, you tell your girlfriend that you're not committed to her, and she pretends you never made love in the first place.
You spend weeks with a propelling pencil and some graph paper planning exactly how you're going to make love to your girlfriend, but when the moment comes you end up enthusiastically buggering the cat. Afterwards you pretend that you wanted to do that anyway.
You want to make love to your girlfriend the really clever way you did it yesterday, but you've forgotten it.
Someone else regularly makes ActiveLove(tm) to your girlfriend without asking you, and you can never catch the fucker at it and don't know how to make them stop.
Microsoft Word '97
You proudly unveil your erection in the bedroom. Your girlfriend winks at you and says "It looks like you're going to have a wee. Would you like some help with weeing?".
You learn a technique which is supposed to bring any girl to orgasm, but it only works with your mother.