Why have I never seen a baby pigeon?

September 2001


03.09.2001 (mo), Atlanta

Labor day. 
I complete the cycle of getting Americanized. Spend the whole day on my couch watching television, ate at least 10 different type of candies, ordered a pizza. I have no idea how many movies I watched today neither what their content was.


09.09.2001 (sa), Atlanta

Prepared. I spent 4 hours today to search for a gift box (approx 10x10 cm) and a rubber ball. This is ridiculous. I even started a discussion with a very amused sales guy in a shop for watches, I saw the perfect box containing a watch (quite ugly watch) and tried to convince the sales guy to give away the box without make me buy the 120 USD watch:-) He didn't. At last I found dozen of boxes in "The Container Store", I remembered this shop quite well, but it took me half an hour to find its location again.
Once I got the box, I still had to search for the rubber ball. And once I had the box, suddenly in any shop I then entered, there were boxes over boxes. I hate that.
No I am sitting here and still have no rubber ball I could put in the very nice box. I need to come up with another idea.


16.09.2001 (su), Atlanta

"Freedom itself was attacked this morning, and freedom will be defended." (Bush)
That's it. Back to work tomorrow. 
Even though what happened in New York and Washington this week... well;-). We were at Savannah which is one of the most beautiful towns I ever have visited. We also checked out Hilton Head which is supposed to be the vacation location for celebrities (haven't seen one, well, may I have seen one but haven't recognized him/her).
For sure you know, what happened to America on the 11th. Sure, anybody knows. Nearly every shop is out of American flags and banners. (Walmart reports to have 340.000 USA flags/banners sold until Friday.) You see them everywhere, at houses, gas stations. Cars driving around with banners at their antenna or at the windows. What the people think (and say) is: We stick together... how sad that something like this had to happen to bring us closer to each other... we will strike back. Today - as I  brought Sanna to the airport for her flight back - we have seen a man praying in direction of Mecca below an escalator in the airport atrium. People walked by, I have seen nobody taking offense.
Stefan was in Mexico supposed to fly back to Atlanta on Wednesday, today I picked him up from the Marta. He got - at last - a flight from Puebla to Houston today (7am, leaving at 9am, missing his connection from Houston to Atlanta.) Thomas was in Detroit at Tuesday, had to drive back 13 hours with a rental car. The other guys were at the office in Atlanta (evacuated at the 11th after the reports came in because the King&Queen Building we are in is a twin tower complex which is significantly dominating Sandy Springs, indeed this is the first time I mention that). I was on vacation, got the information from my mother who called from Germany to ask where I was, then switching on the TV, found myself suddenly in a surrealistic scene. 
What happened, but especially how it was done, is so full of blank malevolence. To use cross-country flights, near the take-off airport for full tanks, maximum damage, to do it on a weekday after 8am after people went to work. I don't think they expected the buildings to collapse, I really don't think so.
The blood donation - the only thing the poor people can give - beats any record and the officials report even although they don't need the blood for the WTC victims any more, they collect it now to be prepared for the "wartime ahead". Three days long this message was part of the news ticker in nearly any news channel: Dependants are directed not to give the social security ID of their loved-ones they are searching for to pretending rescue workers near the WTC site. (Background: if you have a valid SID you can apply for a credit card or loan, the credit card company checks for the credit history of people by using their SID then granting the credit cards based on this history usually without any personal contact with the applicant.) Hackers opened several sites and placed names of missing people in the "survivor" list (without reason), people traveled to the listed hospitals to see their dependants then realizing that it was a fake. By modifying the DNS entries at newsbytes.com visitors of several sites were redirected to a site which displayed "Fluffi Bunni goes JIHAD". Any public building has closed nearby parking lots, now official rules are on the way which probably will define this in common. 


17.09.2001 (mo), Atlanta

I hear President Bush talking about the "long lasting and complicated" war which is now to fight ("and we will win"), hear them talking about "acceptable interference into the citizens private life". Well. Just heard the FBI Director in a press conference who said: "I want you to get this straight: the United States of America will not tolerate attacks on Arabian Americans at all." So far the FBI is investigating 40 assaults of Americans against Arabic or Arabic looking people in the USA. In New York an estimated count of 20% less taxis are available - a working domain of Arabic and Indian people.
The first Marines arrived in Pakistan today, Taliban committee will decide tomorrow whether they will hand over Bin Laden or not. I don't think they will do it.
Isn't that nice, the only thing which apparently can prevent a war is that one country is handing over one person - no matter whether he did this or not, he did enough to deserve a few lifetimes of jail anyway. 


18.09.2001 (tu), Atlanta

This is not a good day. Actually this is the worst type of day at all. If a day is good or bad you have something to be happy or to get mad about. Nothing went really wrong today, nothing really worked. Nobody was really complaining, nobody really mad, nobody really happy or sad, nobody really successful nor unsuccessful. Nothing was decided nor disagreed. I cannot say that I really hate that, well at least nothing really bad happened, didn't it? I was doing something the whole day, indeed I was pretty busy but I have horrible issues remembering what I did all day. Lets see... Woke up (that was easy to remember); was pretty late (couldn't sleep yesterday until 3am); went to work; tried to figure out how McAfees ePolicy Server works (thereby something uninstalled the McAfee Virus Scanner from my computer and none of the deployed versions was able to reinstall); got a mail which contained a few bitching stuff which usually makes me wondering what people think about what I care (but today it just annoyed me); got the feeling that my entire stuff planning got a reset right now and anything I thought out and mentioned a year ago is suddenly other peoples idea; got remembered that if people don't get information this is all my fault, may it is; oh: mentioned, that I again am at the right time at the wrong place or better at the wrong time away from the right place, that was pretty sad to figure out.
Now I recognize the real thing of this day, I am again wondering, why anybody can say and do to me what ever he likes without any need for apology, while anybody expects me to stay calm (what I not ever follow, definitely not) and to apologize, what I usually do (especially if I haven't stayed calm). Why is this? May they do and I don't hear it! I feel like my right foot is locked in a block of concrete and people wondering why the hell I am not moving fast enough while they ensure each other that they all the time knewed that this will not work out if I do it and that I am too stupid to separate my own ass from my face (could be, because I see both not that often). This is not a movie where at last will come to truth that the hero was right all the time and anybody else was bitching without reason (or usually only because they are the bad guys). The reality leaves you with doubt. You don't know whether they are right or not, you don't know whether it is your fault or not, you can assume and think it over, you can move your egoism and arrogance into play and you may are impartial enough to listen and watch your history what you did and what came out of it. The reality is a bitch because it leaves you AND them without prove, it neither opens nor closes the door, reality is questioning but also leaves the questions open. And the real world will not close the curtain, maybe just a second before you figured all out so you could say at least: "Oh, that was close." I presume there is no curtain at all, or - could also be true - it is already that tight closed, that I haven't mentioned it. My problem is not, that I am maybe a entire incapable, egoistic and arrogant asshole, my problem is, that I never will figure it out and maybe - this really drives me mad - I never will figure it out BECAUSE I am.
You know what, somehow I don't give a damn. If I cannot figure it out and are obviously not able to change it either, what sense does it make to get mad or annoyed about it? What I learned from America is this: either you get annoyed, mad and mean or you lean back and enjoy, it is your choice. 
In this case, the choice is mine.
Guess what!?
If you need an update about the WTC news, watch TV.


20.09.2001 (th), Atlanta



21.09.2001 (fr), Atlanta

Approx. 40 of the 80 TV channels I have are broadcasting the "America: A tribute to heroes" telethon. (www.tributetoheroes.org, 1-800-868-6483=1-800-TO UNITE) live from Los Angeles and New York. Entirely commercial free. Anything and everyone at the show is donated or donating. At the phones and in between the songs telling "hero-stories" Will Smith (with Muhammed Ali), Selma Hayek, Andy Garcia, Jack Nicholson, Tom Cruise, Tom Woods, Robin Williams, Al Pacino, Meg Ryan, Whoppy Goldberg, George Clooney, Danny DeVito, Julia Roberts, Ben Stiller, Sylvester Stallone, Michael Keaton, Kurt Russell, Clint Eastwood, Robert DeNiro, Goldie Hawn, ... Playing U2, Tom Waits, Steve Wonder, Sting, Bruce Springsteen, and many more all of them live and all of them very... intense. 
At least, each of them gave me the impression that they were there, to do what they can do, that is even more then I can do. 


22.09.2001 (sa), Atlanta

Check this out. While working I now watch since more then three hours the Miss America show. It is so boring that it addicts you to watch the show:-). And I am pretty sure on a night out in Atlanta you can see women who (I was going to write "witch", is that a guy thing?) are more beautiful then these. May this is because of this artificial smile on their face.
Wait, now the final five wait for the "final justice". Ha, first they have to stand a quiz. One point for me. Supreme court, ladies, is the highest judicial authority (and all are right). One more for me (I read the declaration of independence, three of the girls apparently not). How many presidents or ex-president are still alive? 6. Damn forgot about Ford (even don't remember that this guy was President). (Ford, Carter, Bush, Bush, Clinton, still only five. Is tricky Dick still alive? Oops, Reagan is, isn't he?) And a commercial again.
Here we go. 20.000 bucks for Miss New York, 25.000 (to continue her education:-) for Miss District of Columbia, 30.000 for Miss Tennessee and 40.000 for Miss Massachusetts, that leaves Mr. Oregon as Miss America 2001. Oh dear, Tony Danza shouldn't sing. Ha! The crown just felt to the ground, how symbolic.
Yeah, dear world, here comes the ultimate show. Cheaters (real reality television). The subject is quite easy explained you call them when you think your partner is cheating on you, then these guys will hunt and observe your spouse undercover and millions of Americans have the chance to see them f-beep on a clearing or working at your second live as prostitute. (Don't get too excited, you always see them boning but the significant parts of the activity is carefully hidden.)
After being convicted, the main idea of the show is to film the confrontation of the cheated and the cheater, starting by showing the filmed material to the cheated sitting in a car near the current location of the cheater (while he or she is in a suspicious situation), seconds later, sure to have the cheated as angry as possible and in maximum temper, lead them to the cheater. This is the real peak point of the show. 


30.09.2001 (th), Atlanta

I need more sleep. On Monday at the Goldfish, then hmmm, cannot remember, well whatever. On Tuesday we were out at the Highland Tap later at Halo. On Wednesday at Loca Luna (I love their spicy food). Today I will stay at home.


30.09.2001 (sa), Atlanta

The Braves won 5:3 vs. the New York Mets. Good game. Stefan and I got stucked in traffic when driving downtown, it took us over an hour to get to Marks place so we reached Turner Field at the 2nd Inning. The others went to the bar at the first level (always forget the name), while I was using our ticket seats (one of 8;-).  I ate three of this small pizzas (still can feel how they getting digested). 


30.09.2001 (su), Atlanta

So much about the very intense self-promise not to work at weekends anymore.